All I get in return was just an absurd answer from my Mum.
" You get to play during the holidays & now the school had started, it's time for you to settle down. & you've been going out during the weekends too frequently " -MUM.
I hadn't been chilling out with the gfs & the bfs for several weeks alr, all I'm asking for was just a day in a week to relax. I felt pressurize when she kept on dialing to check when am I, trust is so hard to gain. I can lie & skipped school if I was that desperate. But I don't want to, I want her to know the truth even though the answer is always a NO. I'm sad, not because she wouldn't let me out, it's because I felt that she don't understand me. Yes, I always went out with the boys but she knew who they are & I always ensured her that there's absolutely nothing between me and any of the boys, we're just best friends. Why isit that she could trust Jiejie so easily & not me, when I tried my very best to gain that lil trust from her. I don't want to pleased her to let me out, I want her to know why I want to be out. All she say is Poly aren't that stress, so I don't see why you need to go out & relax. I'm such a weakling, so bloody damn useless. Whenever I tried to voice out my opinion, I always ended up crying. Crying infront of people is what I abhorred the most, even if she/he is someone whom I trusted.



I'm someone who treasure friendship.
It's actually quite hard to balance btwn new friends and close friends.
But yesterday that incident really pissed me off.
Whenever my break gets to be the same as the boys, I'll make an effort to meet up with them even though it's like half an hour more to the next lecture.
Zing: Where are you now? Meet up leh.
Me: I'm having lunch @ Design School, where are you?
Zing: Mushroom there. You're with who?
Me: Poly friends lo.
Zing: Win liao lo, eat never jio. Now got poly friend liao la.
Me: You come over la.
Zing: All your friend I go there for what sial, now want to pangseh me alr lo.
Me: Ay, I'm meeting shank @ 1 right. I get to released early that's why I went to eat with them.
Zing: You meeting shank @ 1? you didn't call me to tell me.
Me: Since I'm meeting shank of course I'll meet you too la.
Zing: Ahya, got new friends liao say la, so you coming over de ma?
Me: Since you say like that, you all go first lo since you all don't have lesson anymore.
Zing: Oh, you still got lesson ah?
Me: Yahlar, nvm you all go out lo.
Zing: Don't say until like that la.
In the end I just hang up his phone.
Like wtf sial, I hate it when he keep on emphasizing that I a psk because I'd made some new friends in poly.
They didn't know that sometimes when I said Byebye to the new clique, they are also complaining I'm ps-ing them.
& I haven't got the chance to eat lunch with the girls yet.
But at least Zing bothered to call back & apologize.

In poly, it's hard to know someone that are willing to laugh like a madwomen with you.
It ain't the same as secondary.
Bbei complained to me this before.
Yes, I agree.
In secondary, no matter how vulgar I'm and how I fooled around.
Everyone was fine with it.
But in Poly, a simple middle-finger or a "fuck" seems to be a big deal.
One of the close friends in Poly always tell me " Ay, don't so vulgar la you. "
Nothing like this happened to me before in secondary life.
It's hard for me to change because vulgarities alr plays an important description in my vocabulary book.
Be it gfs or bfs, it's hard not to hear a vulgar word added into the conversation.
But maybe I should somehow cut down on using so much vulgarities.
Somehow, I want to go back secondary school & fooled around again.
& I met up with DAARLING yesterday.
She's a good listener & she's my personal stress reliever (L)
One busying with O level, one busying adapting to Poly lifestyle.
All busy, but we ain't leaving (:

PS: Notice why I blogged with LONG BORING WORDINGS instead of pictures nowadays? It's because tht person who borrowed my camera didn't bothered to return me asap & it's like fucking 3wks alr! D: